


Foster Family

by Vicemir



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Building a family, Building a relationship, Confusing relationships, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Junhoe is insecure as hell, Other, Platonic Relationships, basically the whole story is about saving Junhoe out of the deep hole he's in, father!Donghyuk, it'll be a slow work but I want to explore it, kid!Lisa, teen!Junhoe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-01-24 12:07:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18571144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vicemir/pseuds/Vicemir
Summary: Kim Donghyuk always wanted a kid. More than forming a real family, he wanted to adopt one because he couldn't stand a thought that some children, born on this planet, would suddenly be left here, their parents not longer wanting them, not loving them, for some unknowingly cruel reason.What Donghyuk didn't expect is to take home not just a young sweet girl Lisa, but also an almost fully grown teen boy named Koo June.It wouldn't be easy to build a family with these two kids but he'll do his best.





	1. A Brand New Life

Kim Donghyuk always wanted a kid. More than forming a real family, he wanted to adopt one because he couldn't stand a thought that some children, born on this planet, would suddenly be left here, their parents not longer wanting them, not loving them, for some unknowingly cruel reason. Donghyuk wanted to save all abandoned children but he knew he could only try to save one. He earned some good money so he could give the child everything they deserved, even if he was a single father.

His best friend Bobby, though, would always grumble some sort of "well, aren't you a fucking saint" when was told about his plan, but Donghyuk already knew even without Bobby that it wasn't something every person would likely do. He was firm, though, and he made sure he prepared all the papers needed and got a permission to adopt a new member of his family.

What Donghyuk didn't expect is to take home not just a young child, but also an almost fully grown teen boy named Koo June.

Looking back, it was probably something in his face when they accidentally crossed their looks – the boy had the dark, preserved eyes, full of dull pain and emptiness, which immediately caused a painful tug in Donghyuk's chest as he looked away from the kids that gathered around him when he walked into the room.

The teen was silently sitting in the corner, far from anybody else, making it look like he was not interested in the communication and possibility of being taken to the new parents – or he already long lost hope for such a miracle.

Donghyuk saw a young baby girl, cheerful and adorable, that reminded him of himself when he was a child. Her name was Lisa, she was 5 and she immediately clinged to Donghyuk's leg, babbling about this and that and making his heart melt. He just had to take her home and spoil her with all the treats he prepared!

But he couldn't get that one teen's look out of his head, either. Donghyuk carefully threw a glance towards him at the corner, but the boy didn't seem to move a bit, looking outside of the window with the nonchalant stare instead of looking at other kids chatting in the room.

Orphanage curators tried to talk Donghyuk out of his request. One of the women told him that Koo June was a very troubled teen with a bad attitude, no way he'd redeem himself or become a good addition to any family, not in this age, especially when Donghyuk was still an inexperienced young father.

"He better stays the rest of his life in the orphanage", they said, but Donghyuk couldn't let it happen. He was stubborn and kept insisting until they eventually gave up. Somehow Donghyuk wanted to come home with Lisa and June, no one else. He couldn't explain it to anyone but it was his choice and he was sure about it.

So he came up to the June, smiling, and carefully asked him to pack his belongings because in a couple of days they would go to their new home, but the teen again wouldn't move at all and made no obvious sign of listening to Donghyuk, gloomily staring down at the wrinkled notebook sheets with some words and messy drawings on his lap.

When Donghyuk signed all the papers needed and came back later to get his new daughter and son with him, June was ready though, the small old skinny backpack loosely hanging from his shoulder. Lisa was running around the big yellow old luggage that orphanage curators packed for her.

"Is that all you have?" Donghyuk asked June, surprised of the lack of belongings.

June gave him a heavy stare back, still not saying anything. Donghyuk felt awkward but smiled at him anyway and opened the door to his car, inviting June and Lisa in.

The road to home was silent, including Lisa who became really quiet as she watched the buildings and cars passing by. But that's something Donghyuk believed he would have to get used to for now.

**[x] [x] [x]**

The orphanage was everything he didn't want to be in. The place always screamed loneliness and desperation to him, and in certain days – that he hated the most – it just reeked of both happiness and hope. Junhoe didn't have much to do here, except for being ordered around and doing some jobs in the city that he was usually awful at anyway.

It was also tough for him to socialize or make friends in his age, so he only watched other orphans as they played, studied together or secretly discussed imaginative future families, hiding in the darkness of the night.

Junhoe never joined their talks because he never thought he'd get one. Sometimes he couldn't help it and would get into a heated arguments, and he was lucky if curators didn't catch him.

But now, everything was unfamiliar to Junhoe. He clenched his fists on the strap of his only backpack as he tried not to retreat from the sign of a white door. Some part of him wanted to come back to the place where he was at least safe, scared of unknown surroundings, but some part was itching with the painful curiosity, and it left him in tearing apart doubts.

Maybe something would be good here. Maybe. Though he wasn't sure what he was looking for. Not that he knew anything else beside the orphanage he was in for 16 years. They told him he got there when he was almost 2, but still, that's a long time to be somewhere and the sudden change made him very uncomfortable.

Junhoe could help but question the stranger's decision.

Why would someone adopt him? No, why would someone _want_ him? Was it a joke? Why would someone be interested in him? He was good in one or two things, but it wasn't enough to be desirable. He doubted that they were interested in his strength – he used to work out in his free time, when he wasn't writing anything, and he usually was asked to move around heavy things, but the man could just rent him to do the job if he needed Junhoe to work, why adopt him? The women that were looking after all the orphans always told him he would spent his entire short life in those walls, since he wasn't a "nice good child" any parents would want to take to their families. So...why?

Junhoe jerked away, startled, when a hand suddenly touched his shoulder.

"Wow, I didn't meant to scare you!" he heard a surprised voice and then watched how the hands of the person beside him waved, not quite meeting the eyes of a man. "Sorry. I just wanted, ugh, to tell you that you could go in the house. Let's go in?"

Junhoe answered nothing, still not knowing how to not be suspicious of everything. He took a deep breath and once again looked at the door in front of him, wishing that it would disappear in a second so he could wake up and tell himself "see, you were right, idiot. It's not real, stop hoping for a better future".

But the door was still there, looking pretty much real, and the small hands with silver bracelets gestured towards it, so he took another deep breath and stepped in.

**[x] [x] [x]**

Donghyuk blamed himself for the startled look and widen eyes of June when he touched him. It was almost like the teen has realized his presence for the first time in several days they've met through.

Lisa, his new baby girl, already ran away to explore the two-floor house Donghyuk was renting, so he had to keep an eye on her and move with her from one room to another for a whole hour until her curiosity wore off. Surprisingly, Lisa wasn't closed off, she was a little shy but her energy made up for any of her doubts. She was hesitant to touch anything at first but she was savoring unknown things and asking questions about everything in her new room, and Donghyuk couldn't help but laugh. He already loved her.

It wasn't easy with June though, that's true: for the first fifteen minutes the boy stood in the corridor, not moving but scanning the room with his intense cold eyes, and only when Donghyuk went down and invited him to drop his backpack and sit on the sofa (more like strictly insisted, otherwise June wouldn't go anywhere) he obediently sat where he was asked to. Donghyuk decided to sit down on the chair in front of him.

"So...As you know, I'm Kim Donghyuk. And your name is Koo June, right?"

The boy kept silence, still staring only at his hands and backpack. Donghyuk tried to light up a discussion a bit.

"Would you like a banana cake or a chocolate one?"

This question seemed to definitely surprise June, as he quickly raised his head, looking straight at Donghyuk for the first time, the shaggy black fringe falling onto his dark confused eyes. Donghyuk smiled at the progress and mentally congratulated himself. Small steps for a big family.

"So, the cake? There are some cakes I bought yesterday from the bakery in this neighborhood. It's really good. The cakes are small but definitely tasty, although unfortunately I ate all the strawberry cakes already so there are only banana and chocolate ones left. Which one would you prefer?"

It took whole ten seconds for June to give him a somewhat answer. He was probably never given a choice before, all the food in the orphanage was the same, not to mention there were no cakes in the dessert menu.

"Whatever?" His voice sounded small, unsure, almost resistant, but for Donghyuk it was rough and low. It would definitely sound powerful if only the teen talked louder.

But Donghyuk brightened up, he quickly jumped off the sofa and to the kitchen, bringing two cakes and two cups of coffee and putting them on the table in front of June.

However, the teen didn't make any effort to take the cake.

"Why aren't you eating?" Donghyuk asked, confused. He tried to push the plate closer to the teen, but no result.

"It's not the dinner time yet" June's voice sounded flat, almost like a noise from a mosquito (with a very low buzz though), or a clock on the wall – dissolving into the background sounds before Donghyuk could even register that June said something.

For some reason he felt a pain in his chest. He looked at the teen who was quite tall, sitting and trying to shrink in himself in an unknown surroundings, with a pity.

"You can eat it now," he reassured the teen, putting his own cake into the mouth, trying to give the boy an example. June looked at him unbelieving with the raised brow, still not moving a finger. His eyes moved again to follow the clock.

Donghyuk sighed.

"Eat it. Please."

He managed to make him take one bite before June put the cake back on the plate and wouldn't touch it again.

"Eat it all, come on!" Maybe Donghyuk sounded too frustrated, but the teen quickly jumped, grabbed and shoved the whole cake in himself, almost choking.

 _Damn!_ Scared, Donghyuk wanted to slap his back but immediately retreated, remembering how the boy reacted to his touch before. What should he do, shit, what should he do?

"Alright, umm, sorry...Just... slowly swallow it... thank you" he said, carefully watching June struggle, not even taking offered coffee to help himself. "Should I... show you your room now? You can rest there, I think there were a lot of new things for you to take in already."

June swallowed the rest of the cake and grabbed his backpack, obediently following Donghyuk, who was unhappily thinking that he definitely failed the first father impression.

But maybe time will help. He doesn't know the teen, doesn't know how his life was yet. Maybe they'll find similarities and maybe he'll freely talk to Donghyuk one day, not looking like a kicked street puppy.

Anyway, Donghyuk was willing to do his best to make June's life a little bit better.


	2. A Brand New Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the new-born family members struggle with their own enemies. 
> 
> Junhoe struggles with new life, Donghyuk struggles with Junhoe and Lisa struggles with milk.

**[x] [x] [x]**

As the door closed after him and Junhoe heard how Kim Donghyuk went to the next room, where based on the sounds, little Lisa was happily enjoying her new place, Junhoe carefully hid his backpack under the bed and sat on a chair near the window. Sighed in relief.

_Heart, please stop beating so fast..._

Now, as the first moment alertness went down a bit, he could stop freaking out and look around more.

The room was smaller than the one he lived in in the orphanage but there was no other beds and no other people, so that was already a significantly bigger place where Junhoe was ever on his own.

It looked clean but quite simple, with grey walls, a bed, an empty desk, one long hanger for his clothes and a shelf with few old books at the corner. Despite the overall look, Junhoe still liked it. It looked cozy. He could live with that.

There was no need to take out any of his things he brought with him, so with nothing to do he stood up and went up to the shelf, slowly stroking books with his fingers, looking at their spines.

His stomach suddenly grumbled, and Junhoe rolled his eyes. Damn, he was starving.

Junhoe had a big appetite, as he was one of the few grown ups among all of the orphans, but there was a lot of kids and only so much food so he was used to the constant feeling of a hunger, always knowing when it was time for a dinner. The portions they got weren’t so big and sometimes kids would share with him some stuff they didn't like to eat (like Lisa, she always managed to get rid of the spicy kimchi, so she and Junhoe had a secret deal which they promised not to tell the curators about).

When he was suddenly offered a cake earlier today, Junhoe was dumbfounded first. In no way he knew what to say to Donghyuk who expected some sort of the answer from him. And then he was offered the cake, so he wanted to save up food to snack on later but that obviously disappointed the man so he had to...well...

Junhoe remembered swallowing the cake so quickly that he couldn't even taste it, but now his awoken hunger was asking for more, doubled by the uncomfortable sense being in the unknown place. Actually, to think, now he didn't even know when he'll get to eat next time, since in this house there was no obvious lunch schedule as in orphanage.

So he sighed and tried not to think about food.

He'll manage, of course. As he always does.

He decided to push all of his attention to the books in front of him, to distract himself from feeling hungry. He liked reading, so it was quite easy.

On the shelf there were several comics singles, some thick classic books that Junhoe already saw in the orphanage’s so-called "library", and surprisingly even a couple of thin poetry books.

Junhoe took the first book from the left and looked at the cover. It was Yoon Dong Ju’s “The Easily Written Poem” collection and Junhoe was intrigued. He opened the book only to find a bright stick-it pink note inside.

Firstly he thought it was left from the previous owner but the neat lines and his name caught Junhoe’s attention:

_“The room isn't very well prepared, sorry, because I didn't know I would have two of you_

_and I only had a couple of days, but I hope you'll make yourself at home here. :)_

_— Your...father? Sorry, I don’t know if it’s appropriate to call myself like this yet, but yeah._  
_— Kim Donghyuk to June"._

Junhoe frowned. He didn’t know what to feel about these words.

But curiosity already took over him, and with the book in his hand exploring the rest of the room, Junhoe found another note in the desk’s drawer with the same content but an addition “p.s. in case you don’t like books and didn’t find the other one” and one more note when he flopped down on the bed and put his arm under the soft pillow “come down whenever you rest enough, I’m making dinner at 3pm”.

Junhoe actually chuckled, feeling a little bit of amusement. He wouldn’t have guessed that the grown man would leave silly notes like this, for him, even before he actually came here. This man, Kim Donghyuk, must be actually not a jerk, after all.

Maybe it wasn't his room or the room prepared especially for him... He could've stayed here for a while, Junhoe thought.

He opened Yoon Dong Ju’s book, carefully put all the stick-it notes between the pages and started reading. He didn't get to read much poetry but it was something that always captivated his thoughts. For the first day in a long time he was provided to himself, with no loud childrens' noise around, so he decided to relax and take it as a chance to rest before he will be made to work.

 

Junhoe woke up at 2am, feeling a hard corner of the book poking at his temple. How did he even manage to fall asleep?

He groaned, and his stomach followed with a low growl.

_I am_ _absolutely ready to die from hunger._

Junhoe peeked out of the room and stared into the darkness, where he remembered was the staircase to the living room and a kitchen. Everything was quiet so everyone in the house must be already sleeping. What a shame, because first Junhoe wanted to bribe Lisa to get him something from the kitchen but now he had to go down himself and steal some food.

Trying to be extra careful and not to be too clumsy and noisy, which he was guilty of and what brought him lots of troubles back in the orphanage, he sneaked into the kitchen. On the table there was a plate covered by another. When he lifted it, he found an already cold fried rice with some meat and vegetables. Junhoe’s mouth instantly filled with water.

 _I hope no one will know that I took it,_ Junhoe thought looking at the rice. It was very questionably of him to think so, considering there were only three people in the house but Junhoe really preferred to have something to eat right now. He’ll deal with any consequences later.

So he grabbed a plate and sneaked back into the room upstairs.

The house at night became quiet again.

 

**[x] [x] [x]**

 

Donghyuk was happy to see that the plate he prepared for June was missing.

The boy didn’t come out for dinner or the supper, so he got worried, but that meant that June at least got to eat.

First thing in the morning he called Bobby, to check up on the work.

“Wait bro, what do you mean the gallery gave you a week off?!” the accusing voice was loud as usual. Bobby, his childhood friend, was always giving out an uncontrollable amount of energy and movement, even his speech was quick and almost incomprehensible, like the guy was tripping over his thoughts and words. Although one reason why Donghyuk tolerated him in the morning – Bobby was never in a bad mood, even so early. He just liked to pretend that he was, to fuss over something that he found amusing.

“Today’s Friday! You mean we won’t go grab a beer in a baseball bar?! Dongie!”

“I can’t do that now, and you know that” Donghyuk tried to hold back his laugh, not to wake up anyone upstairs.

“Yes! I know one thing, that my man just betrayed his best friend and their routine that hasn’t been ruined once since university! And for what! Two absolutely new fresh children! Am I not enough kid for you that you exchanged me for them?!”

That’s it. The laugh broke free.

“You crazy idiot! I’m father now!” Donghyuk snorted, smiling.

“What, not even a boring food restaurant? Or our favourite ramyeon place? Amusement park?”

Donghyuk knew what Bobby was up to. He tried to fish whether Donghyuk could bring out and show him Lisa and June. Bobby never wanted to get his own child or date someone to make a proper family but he adored everyone else’s kids. Although it was probably better if they spend some time together, only three of them, to get used to each other. It was too early to brag someone about them or for kids to meet his friends. So Donghyuk could only shrug and smirk:

“No! Absolutely no way! Stick that ramyeon up your...wait–” He brought the phone down, hearing some noise above his head. He recognized chipring sounds of the toy piano that he bought and placed in Lisa’s room. She must have woken up already.

“Alright bro, I gotta go make a breakfast. If someone comes and ask for me, could you sent their requests over to my email? There should be new pictures coming from the animator for the next exhibition.”

“Yeah, no sweat.” Bobby immediately switched to a working mode, which made him not only a good friend but also a great colleague. “If only they won’t make me run around too much because I’ve already been told that one of the projectors in the hall C isn’t working and I bet it’s that new cleaning lady! They always like to plug out my stuff with their mops. I’ll call you later is something’s up! Bye-bye! Tell kids I said hi!”

“Sure” Donghyuk put down the phone and brightly smiled, rubbing his hands. He couldn’t wait for the day to start, although he felt a little bit nervous. Or more than a bit. What would it be like? How everything will go? Will they like him?

He definitely should appeal as friendly as possible. He couldn’t wait to talk to his children _(his children!)_ more.

 

“Kim Lisa! Kim June! Come down, breakfast is ready!” Donghyuk shouted as he put a big plate with toasts and different jams and chocolate on the table.

He felt excited as he tried out new names on his tongue. _Kim Lisa. Kim June._ That felt surreal, to call kids with his surname, but that’s how it was – there was now someone who possessed his own family name, they were one big family now! His own family. And Donghyuk couldn’t be happier about it.

“What’s on breakfast?!” little girl immediately showed up, jumping down the stairs, already filling the room with light like a ball of sunshine. Donghyuk invitingly pointed at the table, grinning.

“See for yourself, baby girl”.

Lisa gasped. She immediately climbed onto the chair.

“These are sandwiches! Is that strawberry jam?! And chocolate? Is it my birthday?!”

Donghyuk laughed. She was adorable. Heavy footsteps distracted him from savoring the girl with his eyes, and he caught June stepping down the stairs too.

The teen wore the same white t-shirt with black adidas pants that Donghyuk saw on him yesterday and in any day in the orphanage (despite that he put few new t-shirts in his room) and looked as reserved as the last time, giving him a stare as if he was the weird one here.

Despite feeling like something’s wrong, Donghyuk braced himself and nodded towards the table, brightly smiling.

“Good morning! Sit down and enjoy some toasts with milk.”

June didn’t answer (as expected) but sat on the opposite chair next to a girl, eyes darting around the room. Donghyuk was thankful to Lisa for never stopping with the exclamations and filling the awkward pause with her chatting. The girl, though, easily reached June when he sat down and poked at his side, her eyes sparkling with pride.

“June! June! Did you hear? My new dad called me Kim Lisa! I am now Kim Lisa! Am I?” She turned around to Donghyuk, fidgeting with her toast and more crushing it than actually eating.

Donghyuk nodded, seeing the heavy stare June was now giving to the little girl.

“That’s amazing” the boy talked for the first time being in his house. His low voice was lacking any excitement but obviously Lisa was too young to notice.

“It is! Oh, June, June, are you Kim now too? Kim June?” she giggled, hiding her face behind the toast.

Donghyuk was waiting for June’s answer.

"No" He said and shifted his attention to make himself a toast.

It would be a lie to say that Donghyuk didn't feel a little bit hurt, but he definitely understood. It probably wasn’t easy to adjust to the changes at his age so he should give boy some time. As much time as it’ll take.

“Don’t forget to drink the milk”, he said to Lisa but the girl energetically shook her head, slipping down the chair. Donghyuk squeezed his eyes and gave her a warm but strict smile.

“You have to drink milk to grow up tall, strong and beautiful! Come on, don't make me pour it in you!”

Lisa giggled but shook her head once again. Donghyuk didn’t want to push so the yesterday’s situation with June won't repeat itself but he knew he shouldn’t let it slide to establish that she should listen to him.

So he turned to a boy, trying to extend a peace offering as gently as he could.

“Could you help me convince her to drink the milk?”

Turns out, he guessed right. June actually _was_ listening to him, even if not wanting to interact, but he didn’t mind to chat with Lisa, who was probably a known companion against Donghyuk.

Donghyuk watched how June looked at Lisa and then simply moved the glass of milk towards her.

“Drink it, and I’ll give you a chocolate toast after. If you don’t, no chocolate for three days.”

“Three days!” Lisa squealed with big round eyes. It probably sounded like an infinity to her, Donghyuk thought with amusement, watching how girl grabbed the glass and started to drink, spilling half all over herself.

Surprisingly, June definitely had a skill of bribing with kids, offering Lisa one of the toasts that were already on the table and threatening her with a non-existent punishment.

Donghyuk chuckled, wiping milk off Lisa's black and pink t-shirt with the napkin. He met eyes with June and whispered “thank you”, which caused a slight twitch of the corner of the boy’s lips that he counted as a quick smug smile.

_Ten points to Kim Donghyuk!_

He should try and set a contact now, to make sure.

“Actually, may I ask you?” He looked into the dark eyes that were now examining him with caution. “You both have quite unusual names for koreans… Why June?”

The boy investigated him a little bit more, then put down his toast and bitterly said:

“My name is too hard for everyone to pronounce”.

Then he looked at the toast and took another big bite, as if nothing happened.

But Donghyuk heard the underlying tone and he felt bad now as he realised the meaning behind it. It was probably nothing big, but he couldn’t get rid of the feeling that the boy cared a lot about his name, that’s why he gave him such an uncomfortable look when Donghyuk called him “Kim” instead of “Koo” as he was listed in documents.

For the orphans the name is often the only thing that’s left connecting them with their born family, and this morning he just shoved into June’s face how he was robbed of both name and surname now. It must’ve felt terrible.

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuk quickly tried to make up for his mistake. He put together his hands as in an apology and looked at the boy. “What you prefer for me to call you?”

The question definitely surprised June. He looked down at Lisa who was already licking her fingers covered in a chocolate paste and then looked back at Donghyuk again, hesitating. As if not sure he heard right.

“June is fine”.

“No.” Donghyuk wasn’t about to give up on this. It was too important. “Tell me your full name, please, the one that you want to be called with”.

There was another pause before the boy admitted slowly:

“Junhoe”.

“Nice to meet you, Junhoe”. Donghyuk smiled reassuringly. “Although...I can’t do anything about your surname, if you understand me. All the papers were already signed. But if you don’t want to change your surname yet, it’s okay, I will call you as Koo Junhoe. When you’re ready, tell me and we’ll change your ID”.

It was still hard for him to read the boy’s nonchalant face expression but he couldn’t mistake the relief that he heard in his voice.

“Alright”, Junhoe said. “Nice to meet you, Kim Donghyuk”.


	3. Troubled Teen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has secrets, and Junhoe probably has more than anyone else in this house.
> 
> But he's getting bolder again, and it might be dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may noticed, I also added Jinhwan to the story =) I just thought of a great idea for a character and I needed to write it...

Donghyuk couldn’t find his glasses. He needed to write a letter to the public school where Lisa and Junhoe were going, to explain the change of the situation to them, and his glasses were nowhere to be found.

 

Donghyuk sighed and rubbed his temple, thinking that he’s been so occupied for the last few days with all the new experiences that he’s now all over the place himself. He’s got to be extra careful, there’s still so many adjustments he has to make in his life, now a father of two children.

 

No worries. He’s happy to go through it all. He’ll manage! He doesn’t have his sight that bad, after all.

 

But almost as soon as he sat at the table, collecting his thoughts, he was interrupted by the loud abrupt noises coming from above.

 

“Dong! Dong! Dong-dong-dong!” Lisa half-jumped half-stumbled down the stairs, accenting his name with each loud  _thump_. Donghyuk let her call him  _Dong_ , or  _DongDong_  as the girl liked more, because calling him “dad” was still very unusual to her but the full name was quite hard for her to remember and pronounce. And now she made it into a sort of a chant, with the high adorable voice pattering  _Dongdongdong!_ every time she needed his attention. And it was a lot of times, he might say. Which was totally adorable, period.

 

“Oh, you early. What’s there, baby girl?” Donghyuk was quick to reply, raising his head and smiling at the girl, happy seeing her already running to him.

 

She giggled.

 

“I’m not a baby!”

 

“No, you’re my baby girl now” Donghyuk cooed, taking Lisa in his hands and wanting to put her on his lap, but the girl yelled in high-pitched voice and dodged under his arm, running to behind his back and giggling louder.

 

Donghyuk smiled. Maybe Lisa didn’t have a full consciousness yet to be afraid of him like Junhoe showed, but still she clearly wasn’t used to the warm and affectionate surrounding.

 

“What are we going to do today? Let’s eat and do it!” The girl excitingly stood up on her toes, grabbing the edge of the table and tried to look at what Donghyuk’s been writing. Not finding anything worth attention, she went back on circling around Donghyuk, impatient.

 

Honestly, Donghyuk didn’t expect her to wake up so early. It was about seven in the morning, and last evening he took her on a walk in the store nearby for the food (Junhoe refused to go with them) where she probably spent all her energy, yet she was already up so early.

 

He quickly stood, thinking about breakfast. Some rice with meat and fresh fruit salad would do. Lisa kept jumping around, putting her little pointed nose everywhere, obviously bored.

  
  
“I dressed up myself!” She exclaimed finally, turning around and showing her orange with white dots dress and green socks with some foxes on it (those Donghyuk bought and put into her room earlier).

 

Some buttons on the dress were mismatched and she didn’t get half of her hair into a pony tail, but Donghyuk chuckled and praised her for efforts, while continue preparing their breakfast.

 

“You look very-very pretty, Lisa.”

 

He’d give her as many compliments as she needed, rightfully being concerned that she didn’t get much at the orphanage.

 

Lisa brightly shined in return.

 

“Really? It was seven but no one was coming so I just put it on myself. June has dressed himself too.” She whispered it all like a big secret, tugging onto the small pocket that she had on the side of her dress.

 

_Oh. So Junhoe has already woken up as well?_

 

Donghyuk looked up and after a couple of seconds he noticed a bit of the shadow on the top stairs. So Junhoe was standing there all this time, listening but not joining them?

 

He felt his heart clenched for a boy, once again.

  
  
“Junhoe, are you there? Come down for breakfast!” He called, and shadow moved, followed by appearing boy, proving his thoughts.

 

Sometimes slim boy in black clothes reminded Donghyuk of a ghost that silently decided to haunt his house...

 

Donghyuk wished that Junhoe would sooner start to feel like a part of the family instead of presenting here like an unwanted guest, but he still knew that it was too much to ask for now. They still almost didn’t know each other and the boy was almost an adult and probably in his rebellious teen age. So he didn’t say anything, preferring to keep his attention to the dishes in front of him.  _It’s okay_ , he reassured himself.  _I'll just treat him as a friend but gentler until he comes out of his shell._

 

“So what are we doing after we eat, DongDong?”

 

Lisa followed Donghyuk with the plates to the table and clumsily climbed the chair, her lively eyes never leaving Donghyuk’s sight, as opposite to Junhoe who sat at the same left corner, only staring down at his own hands on the table.

 

“I need to take care of some things first but you can go and play in your room with toys.” He said, giving the kids spoons and their portions.

 

Donghyuk knew that the orphanage had a pretty tight and firm schedule so that was probably why Junhoe and Lisa still woke up at the usual time, got dressed up and waited for a breakfast in the expected hour.

 

Then Lisa and Junhoe stopped eating and exchanged equally confusing looks and Donghyuk raised his brow, not understanding what’s wrong.

 

“Don’t we have something to do?” Lisa asked, confused, and at the same time Junhoe spoke, first time asking question directly at Donghyuk:

  
  
“Do we really have a free time?”

 

Donghyuk blinked.

 

“Yes,” he said carefully, trying to understand what confused them. “You’re given a few days off at school while you’re settling down to live here with me so you can just do whatever you want today. I believe you still haven’t discovered or played with most of the toys in your room, Lisa, and Junhoe, you can go for a walk if you want to”.

 

The little girl happily squealed, thinking about toys, and the boy shook his head, still not meeting his eyes.

  
  
“I’ll be in the room upstairs, I guess”.

 

Donghyuk nodded.

  
  
“Then you can stay in  _your_  room. There’s not much to do probably but if you need anything, just tell me”.

 

Junhoe shrugged in return, scratching the plate with the spoon, everyone jumping at the sharp sound.

 

Well, he still wasn’t cooperating easily, but at least he showed some response that he was actually listening to him, Donghyuk thought, keeping a smile on his face.

 

**[x] [x] [x]**

 

Junhoe looked at the food on his plate and squeezed spoon in his fist, feeling how several different desires were fighting inside of him.

 

The portion he was given was much more that he’s used to, so he was already full but also he couldn't help but contemplate whether he should just dump it all in himself. He didn’t usually have any appetite but he despised the feeling of hunger – and not having a regular scheduled dinners anymore put a strong uncomfortable feeling on him.

 

Finally he decided that being full was much better than starving because who knows when he’d be able to eat next time, so Junhoe forced the rest of the dishes and swallowed, trying to ignore the nauseous feeling rising in his body.

 

Quickly pushing away the now empty plate, he went straight to the stairs, not waiting for Lisa but he was expecting for Donghyuk to call him back – to scold him or to change his path of action. And when it didn’t happen even when he entered the room at the far left side of the corridor, where he stayed, it hit Junhoe.

 

_So… I really do have a free time?_

 

He looked around, confused. He was alone in the almost empty room and not given any tasks. What... was he supposed to do?

 

In the orphanage he never really had a free time. There were always many people, many noises, many schedules and always, always everyone being hurry and something happening with someone somewhere, and here…

 

Junhoe was completely lost. He felt another nauseous wave returning up to his throat and his breathing speeding up.

 

_Alright, I have… I have my notebook, maybe? But… I can’t write anything here. It’s not the right atmosphere. I don’t know how to write here. Oh god, what else do I have. I don’t want to go outside, and I have no work scheduled today. What else, do I even have anything?! I have… my routine, right?_

 

He felt relief. Working out was comfortable and well known and it didn’t require him to be at the specific place or in specific circumstances.

 

Junhoe practically threw himself on the ground. Twenty push ups thankfully made him feel  _more calm_ , fifty made him feel  _safe_ , eighty made him suddenly feel  _sick_.

 

On stumbling legs he dashed to the bathroom at the other side of the corridor, pushing past giggling in surprise Lisa, not caring about anything but making it to the sink.

 

As soon as he grabbed a cold faience rim of the sink, all the rice, vegetable and fruits he held in to this point, all broke free, leaving him lightheaded and dizzy.

 

Junhoe frowned, bended with another wave of throwing up.

 

_Ugh._

 

Sometimes it happened, he was no stranger to the feeling of sudden force to throw up anything he ate. And maybe it was because he ate too much today, eager to get all the food while he could, or maybe it was because after several days here he was still on the edge, always expecting something bad happening or being thrown out to the streets and it still didn’t get easier, making him feel even weaker.

 

But more than worrying about the reason, he now regretted that he couldn’t manage to hold at least some of his breakfast inside, meaning he wasted so much food. And that was unforgivable.

 

Junhoe growled, mentally scolding himself, and bent down to take big gulps of tap water. It calmed down his stomach a bit but he still expected the nausea to come back later. He grabbed his toothbrush (almost breaking it with his strong grip on the handle) and cleaned his mouth out of sour sick taste.

 

 _Whatever. I can always go out and take some more._  If he needed food, he’d just watch when Donghyuk was out of sight downstairs as the last resort, although for some reason he didn't want to cause any problems. He'd caused enough already and he didn't like the consequences. He didn't want to be returned back and if he does anything... he might be returned. Not like Donghyuk seemed as someone with power.

 

But now, even if his stomach felt much lighter, Junhoe didn’t feel like working out anymore, that brought him back to the weird panic feeling of not doing anything useful.

 

He decided to check on Lisa, but she wasn’t in a room anymore. Still, before going somewhere else looking for her, Junhoe inspected everything with the cold stare. The room she stayed in was much more colorful and there were so many things. Although Lisa was always surrounded by many things and toys and clothes and everything. Junhoe chuckled. It almost felt like he was back at the small children’s room at the orphanage when he was cleaning it and no one was there, only their things. Maybe he could spend the time before something happened here, being distracted by exploring and playing with Lisa. Or cleaning this place, that'll earn him few good points.

 

But for now he backed away, looking for the little girl. He found her downstairs, pestering Donghyuk with questions and small talks.

 

Junhoe hesitated for few seconds but sick feeling of being alone upstairs nudged him to approach the girl and the man in the living room.

 

Thankfully, Donghyuk didn’t make any remarks, although he still looked at Junhoe with the look he couldn’t yet decipher but it almost made him trip over his own foot.  _What did he want?_

 

Junhoe decided to sit next to a Lisa, who turned to him with curious eyes.

 

“You should show me what you have upstairs”, he said, offering to play.

 

The little girl pouted and kicked his leg. She was always protective about all the things she had.

  
  
“No! I don’t want to!”

 

Junhoe frowned.

 

“I’m telling you to show me. I’m stronger and you know it, don’t make me ask twice.”

 

He didn’t have anything to bribe her with at the moment so forcing his power was the best way to get anyone to do anything for him.

 

“Don’t talk like that to her” Suddenly Donghyuk that was sitting at writing something at the table, turned his head and looked at Junhoe with the heavy stare. “And Lisa, it’s a good thing if you can play with your toys together with Junhoe. Please.”

 

Junhoe shivered, not liking the interruption.

  
  
“Nobody asked you” he barked back at the man, surprising himself. But so far Donghyuk didn’t punish him even once and Junhoe took his elegant frame into account, starting to doubt if he can refuse Donghyuk’s orders. Caregivers at the orphanage didn’t usually meddle when they talked with each other so why was the man suddenly butting his nose into their business?

 

It’s not like Junhoe asked him to beg Lisa to play together. He even said  _please_  as if Junhoe wasn't able to manage to get her to play with him on his own. Huh.

 

Junhoe stared at Donghyuk, challenging him, and he felt like a winner when the man didn’t answer anything, not even trying to showcase that he’s stronger and should be listened to, until some ringing suddenly cut through the heavy silence.

 

He saw Donghyuk hurriedly taking his phone and answering the call. Junhoe looked back down at the Lisa who was now swinging her legs in little kicks, still pouting. He smiled victorious. As Junhoe was about to urge her to come upstairs again, he heard surprise in Donghyuk’s voice:

  
  
“What? You want me to come again to the orphanage?”

 

Junhoe froze.

 

_Was it…_

 

_Oh damn._

 

Maybe they already know. Maybe they know  _he was still being a bad kid, a troubled teen_  in his foster house or whatever it’s called here.

 

And they immediately called to take him back when Donghyuk scolded him just now. He shouldn't have said anything to him. He shouldn't have raise his voice at all, damn. He shouldn't have doubted Donghyuk. Didn't he learn from before?

 

But Junhoe can’t return to the orphanage. He can’t. If he returns, in a few weeks, he will be…

 

_No. No-no-no._

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, please, it's really appreciated. I'm not great with writing progressing relationship but I'm curious to explore these guys and especially Junhoe's dark mind, to see if he would be able to heal himself and if Donghyuk would be able to help him.
> 
> But at the beginning it's gonna be pretty painful =( Or not really? I hope you'll give me feedback of how you feel about this story.


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